Verbal warfare through radical ideals

Ordinary Story


I will beg the forgiveness of my readers now; the reason being is that what will follow is a tirade of seemingly arrogant, melodramatic complaints and grievances designed to help me cope with the fact that I’m bound to my own ambitions, and regardless of what popularity contest I could potentially win by abandoning these principles, I’m far too driven in a crusade for literary quality to surrender my dignity to the vanity in turning one’s blog page into an advertisement for the anti-intellectual.

The reason my introduction is such an astoundingly contemptuous show of disapproval, is partially due to my inability to grasp how the masses of the internet cling to the most disgustingly vulgar, poorly constructed, narcissistic, blatantly idiotic subjects and topics that make their way onto their page. I’m absolutely serious. This is not a “Fox Mulder” inspired rant designed to open the eyes of others to the sad truth about our future if we continue down a certain path. This is a desperate plea for someone out there to fill me in on why it is that those of us out there who toil endlessly on our blogs are pitched to the garbage in favor of topics and images that make me contemplate the finer aspects of the “hairpin evolution theory”. I’m not even referring to the myriad of spam messages that are propaganda from political machines designed simply to sway one direction or another by constantly turning the opposite party’s ideology into profanity. That, I’ve become quite comfortable with understanding that it won’t go away; the stones are placed and there is no moving them with two gigantic swarms of blue and red who are arguably involved simply because of the social status, rather than the impression that they truly believe what it is they stand behind. All of this, while ironically more than likely a story worth looking at, still comes across as garbage. No, there is a threat far worse to the human brain, and politics unfortunately pale to this collective heap of utterly mind-numbing refuse.

LOLcats, meme generator sites, horoscope pages that give you 500 different views of the same sign on the same day, any social networking page from a celebrity or sports player, Kickstarter, mass spam .gif webpages,  every single nude streaming site on the planet, lists of the top 10 anything, reading anyone’s facebook/twitter/myspace page who posts every single disgusting event of their mundane lives, millions of “cute baby picture” photobombs, create your own barcode pages, beard rating sites, abstract art generators, scrabble word finders, webpages dedicated to tweaking the same workout routines, any deviantart page who copies and pastes images they like, half of reddit, the doomsday clock webpage, sites for the same download link to the same “pacific island” screen saver, soundboards, the same idiotic “the rapture is coming so save yourself by visiting this webpage” link that I can google right now and find 500 of, gold buying websites for web-based games, online casinos, BidForSurgery.com, webpages for coupons that appear in sunday papers, dancing baby sites, anything rick-roll, the obscenely disorganized mess of any Tumblr page, and 90% of YouTube.

This list alone is reason enough to give up the internet. However, the horrible reality of all of this is that the millions of people online tend to only respond to bland, tasteless bullshit such as the wall of filth I’ve listed above. The other day, I was combing blogs to find something interesting to read, and when I run out of the people I’m currently following, I decide to scour other pages on WordPress. One of these, was an absolute atrocity. Out of respect for them, I won’t name it. (also because I don’t really wish for them to get more views than they already do) Although, I can tell you this person has been around only a few months, and has managed to obtain their entire following by making every single post a horrific barrage of sex, violence, and overtly vulgar imagery. Of course, I wouldn’t dare to claim it is “taboo terrirtory” by any means. I welcome anything that pushes the envelope in terms of philosophical thinking. This page, was nothing but an example of how to pander to every senseless person on the web who has ever felt alpha male symbolism is the only thing that should matter on a site. Female frontal nudity, repetitive clips of automatic weapons firing, numerous videos of cheaply modified custom cars running drag races and drifting, and constant viral images of people so drunk that they didn’t know a picture was taken of them at all.

Now, commonly these are the things that one would see in an irritating spam e-mail designed to get you to buy some idiotic product, or some vain cosmetic item. To exhibit such ridiculous gimmicks simply from another WordPress page is not only insulting to the integrity of other writers on this site, but for them to have this many followers and viewers tuning back in to see how much lower they can go all but devalues what it means to be recognized for one’s work. Before someone states it; YES, I am fully aware that this is America and they are free to post whatever they want to on their page, as it is their prerogative. However, that doesn’t always mean they should. This page wasn’t merely an example of how “not to make your blog look”; this WordPress page was a deliberate act of sabotage to one’s credibility. The shallow, morally bankrupt topics placed on the site were a complete how-to guide on how to look as if you had abandoned ethical thinking and reason. It doesn’t require discipline, and there is nothing to be taken away from it. As far as I can tell, this blog was simply a landfill for this person to place fruitless thoughts that took too damn long to state in conversation. Their message challenged no one to think; to question things about themselves they might not consider otherwise. For a writer who takes long periods of time to plan a structure to their work, and then executes it with a sense of resolve unparalleled by their peers, it was like watching a slow-motion suicide take place where creative thinking potentially could have. In the process, this fool has not only stripped away possible witnesses to a decent blogger’s page; for people who look to blogging as another branch of journalism, they’ve brought to life the notion that literary prowess has taken a dive.

I can see that people will not take me seriously regarding the apparent hostile reaction I’ve made clear in this post. They’ll discard my warning, and perhaps they should. Perhaps I’m once again over-analyzing an isolated incident that should be left to stagnate. Maybe I should turn my blog page into exactly what it is I loathe the most.

Hey, all of you out there! Listen up! From now on, take 15 minutes to write your entires on your blog. Forget the use of a limitless vocabulary! Describe all things in words of three syllables or less. Make sentence fragments. Or make run-on sentences that stretch on forever and ever and ever without use of punctuation and completely ignore all fundamental rules of grammar and typography. USE CAPITALS ALL THE TIME BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE TO READ LARGE BOLD TEXT AND USE IMAGES THAT CATCH THEIR ATTENTION BUT DON’T ACTUALLY ADD ANYTHING TO YOUR ORIGINAL POST! DON’T FORGET TO GET YOUR FRIENDS INVOLVED SO THAT YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD ON EVERY SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE AND MEDIA OUTLET THAT YOU ARE AWESOME AND SHOULD BE LOOKED AT BECAUSE YOU HAVE EVERY SINGLE THING THAT PEOPLE WANT TO SEE AND HEAR BUT NOT EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO.

FUCK YOUR IDEALISM! IT’S TIME TO WHORE YOURSELVES OUT TO A WORLD OF TRENDY, MEDIA-BASED IMAGERY AND POPULARITY TOPICS DESIGNED TO SCRAPE HITS OFF THE FLOOR! YOUR CONVICTIONS MIGHT BE DEAD AND BURIED, BUT YOUR BLOG IS FUCKIN’ ALIVE, BABY!

-Jake

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6 responses

  1. Jessica Paul

    This kind of post is exactly the reason I subscribed to your blog. You are obviously a smart man, with well-formed and well-written ideas. And, yes, I agree there is so much trash on the Internet. I’m not subscribed to many blogs because if I have to read one more horridly constructed poem/story/rant, then I might go play in traffic.

    August 18, 2012 at 8:12 AM

  2. warwhores

    Eh, you esteem yourself too highly, Shogun. Forget thyne station as an emitter of unique thought to the universe! We are bloggers! Sure, we are fettered by plenty of confectionary words and phrases, images stolen lustfully from the sites of the wicked, but this is merely the electronic fecal drawings of monkeys on the electronic freeway.

    If we all stopped to contemplate why our words failed to gain purchase while others gained fame, we would use up all the creative energy that makes us a subjective tendril of the universe.

    August 18, 2012 at 12:38 PM

  3. theblackrooster

    I understand you, really… And I agree with Jessica Paul – your posts are always entertaining, and sometimes inspiring. Just don’t get into the ranting mode too often! 😀

    August 18, 2012 at 8:11 PM

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