Silence in the House of Tongues
<Warning: This is a hostile rant>
Yesterday, it was brought to my attention that a guy who was recently part of my gaming community decided to get in contact with one of my admins. He had been absent for some time, and as far as I was concerned we were still on good terms. Nothing had happened between us in quite a while, and all hostilities had subsided. However, as it has been proven to me time, and time again; people do not need a reason to throw a fucking tantrum about you, they will do it because they require it to survive.
Evidently, this person who hadn’t talked to me in quite some time, and even when he was didn’t say much, has gone out of his way to express why it is that he hasn’t shown his face in forever. Apparently, the very idea of me living has driven him into a state of paranoid delusion that somehow I’m going to sway his moral inclinations. Because of the group-think of negativity he is now involved in, they are under the presumption that I’m the world’s worst person, and they are the pinnacle of moral ambition. This comes to no surprise, as this group is a collective hive of people with psychological ailments, inferiority complexes, and socially inept hermits. Therein, it would seem only natural in their fear-induced delirium that even though they don’t bother to chat or make themselves known to me anymore, they also find it a necessity to conjure up a puppet to stick in front of my face that is a substitution for who I am as a whole.
Not taking into consideration for the fact that my community as a whole has housed these people generously for the past 3-5 years, I’d like to think that I’ve managed to at least keep my distance and refrain from turning the majority of them into the boogeymen that they’ve graciously provided me the image of in this recent year. It would also not be a stretch to state that I’ve made multiple accounts of public apologies when stepping over the boundaries I should’ve left alone. Unfortunately, these aren’t people who respond to positive reinforcement, and have shoved harder to make sure that they remain the victims in an otherwise idiotic tug-of-war on reason with themselves.
There is no such thing as pacifying a group of cynics who have all made it clear that they are so fragile, that the first sign of committment to any type of activity or protocol is a breach of their personal space, and to do so is to infringe upon their civil liberties and rights. They wanted choice because they felt I was too much of a dictator, so I created a new forum in which they had the right to vote. Well, this didn’t go over too well because even THEY don’t agree on all the policies they wish to put in place. Therefore, after countless squabbling matches in which they use personal attacks to try to gain the upper hand on their already trembling opponents, they abandoned the idea of voting as pointless, and chose the course of inaction, because if there is anything that these people are good at, it’s quitting on things they are afraid to start. These aren’t just individuals who don’t want the illusion of choice; the very notion of the personal responsibility that comes with those choices frightens them to the point of crucifixion. Therefore, when they are all silent and forced to engage in the social circle again, they begin to harbor feelings of fundamental loathing for those who had an alternative viewpoint, therein creating a schism amongst the members present, forcing them to pick sides once again in order to retain control over what little they have left. This process was repeated, and repeated until finally they cut their losses and chose exile elsewhere. Then, like a sewing circle that has only the most self-righteous mandates to uphold, they elected me as their primary symbol of hatred, and have since developed a slowly changing archetype to fit my new image.
This brings me to my final point; that there’s no such thing as loyalty in a world where every time someone is engaged by an alternative idea they are subjected to a range of cruel ultimatums, forcing the target to choose between black and white, yes or no, life or death. These weren’t people who were being slowly punished for nothing. These are people who were constantly offered the keys to the city, so long as they had ideas to bring to the table, and they felt threatened by the fact I was willing to give it up so easily so that someone else could take the wheel, that they lashed out against me as if I had asked them to be my scapegoat. The moronic, and simply falsified agenda of a group that promoted me as THE “two-faced, hypocritical, asshole” has just proven that they are incapable of breeding any good from future contact; that remaining bitter, and tearing apart past allegiances are more important than attempting to patch things up, and would just as soon dismiss a handshake as another form of “Fuck you”. These are people who had all the opportunity to take what they wanted, but only wanted what was convenient for them. While the rest of our core group pulled its own weight, these children clung to the sides of the others taking action, waiting to point out flaws rather than breed progress. Rather than take charge and bring their branch to new heights, they set idly by and waited for others to do their jobs for them, as they lost interest in what they were doing, and their lackluster attitudes brought their division slowly into decomposition.
That’s why, I can’t feel one bit sorry for them as they continuously throw me under the bus. The best part, is having to hear constantly that “it’s not personal”, when another slew of personal attacks follow the most shamelessly invented argument for demonizing me imaginable. There’s no such thing as apologizing to them, as it has already been written off. There is no such concept as appealing to them, as pacification only tends to cause them to become more hostile and enable their attitude towards others. There is no such action as scolding them, as they like any other infants don’t quite grasp what it is they did wrong, therein they feel no apologies are necessary. There’s no such hope as bringing them back, because they’ve told themselves the same story so often and so audibly, that they’ve begun to believe not just what is real, but what isn’t.
So, guys. “Nothing personal”, but this ^ is fucking you in a nutshell. I know I won’t have to worry about hearing any discontent over this, because that’s all done where I don’t have to hear it. Let me draw the curtain for you; wouldn’t want anyone with a frame of reality dragging their bullshit into your anti-intellectual arena.