Verbal warfare through radical ideals

Today


One of the most highly spoken of posts I have ever had the privilege of presenting to the public, was a post about yesterday. The topic, was regarding a day that has a relatively black and white image etched into the minds of anyone who has ever acknowledged its existence. This day, is the adoration inspired holiday known as Valentine’s Day.  The name alone synesthetically pleases or irritates a number of people who hear it. As I have stressed in the past, Valentine’s Day was a day that for some is only a vicious reminder that a certain person’s life is devoid of a significant other, and therein can not only add an unnecessary reinforcement on that fact, but also ruin the day due to the surges of social pressure placed on the pseudo-importance of being with someone just to feel the atmosphere of the day itself. We all know this to not only be a dangerous ideal, but an incredibly demoralizing one when the retainer of such a vain tenet realizes the novelty of such a fruitless endeavor.

Last year, I was in a much different place romantically than I am now. Last Valentine’s,  I played the role of the resentful victim of this merciless tormentor of lost souls, and in spite of the day I found myself not wallowing in apathy, but drowning myself in a sea of motivational words. I was happy with my digital quill in hand, and the day turned into a transparent non-issue compared to other years where I was forced to suffer a ticking clock that presented a new lonely moment every time my eyes shifted focus to the two cruel hands of lonely idleness. That is why, last year I determined for myself at last to never let the day drag me down with the millions of people who every year slide into a depressed state of self-loathing and hatred towards all those “more fortunate”.  On February 14th of last year, I spent the day progressively creating a brand new mindset for this day, beginning with the most minute of ideas; foremost being the notion that one must obtain a partner to be absolutely happy, or at least content with their life. This is not true, and for many people around the world, their solace can be directly attributed to their solitude, and self-sufficiency. These people truly make asexuality a type of life that is free from what they would call the “burden of love”. They, unlike the rest of us aren’t inclined to feel anything for another, unless that feeling be vicariously experienced. Since I have always felt a compelling sense to try to usher in a wave of euphoric belonging on this day, it was only so necessary for me to attempt to adopt a slightly less aggressive point of view on “finding” that someone I so desired.

Many of you may wonder why it is that I’ve chosen to submit this rather appropriate Valentine’s post a day late. The reason being, is because I’ve fallen into that wonderfully sought-after category of people who HAVE acquired that special individual who completes them. Yes, this year is the glorious year of the returning happiness I’ve been incessantly pining for. So it was forecasted as well, I received my gift through the spontaneous event of ironic accident. She has been a continuing source of inspiration to not only my writing, but everything else that I’ve actively worked to sustain and maintain. She is a much-needed voice of reason in many of my endeavors, and she has remained my power source in many campaigns that I would consider folly in my own mind. This post has taken a full 24 hours to construct, because I’ve been preoccupied with her, and trying to figure out how to voice my feelings regarding V-day when many people would discredit my opinion because of my newfound prosperity in the romance department.

After much deliberation, and review of my previous year; there’s a relatively outlandish idea I’d like to share with all of you now. For those of my loyal retainers who have come here to words of artistic passion, and for those of you who are just now stumbling across my blog, I will be as bold as to inform you that this Valentine’s day, should be the start of your new year in love. There is only so much that you can focus on every single day. There are only so many burdens of various calibers that you can place on yourself, and to make love one of them is just not a journey that is absolutely necessary. Valentine’s day should never again be known to you as a holiday emphasising the social necessity to make yourself feel like you must please someone else to live up to the standard of the V-Day spirit. This day should be the catalyst for a change in oneself.

This day should begin a metamorphosis of character in yourself. You might think yourself grotesque. You might feel that you are of unworthy value, and that to place yourself in the arms of someone else would simply be an exercise of cruelty to them. Perhaps you believe yourself to be inadequate, or not strong enough in the eyes of others, for whatever reason that may be. This Valentine’s Day, as a former intellectual slave to the ideals of the ridiculously over-commercialized holiday, I release you from your bondage. Starting today, you’re no longer going to allow your inhibitions, or your lack of self-esteem trample your reason. Roadblocks no longer exist, and the life you were trapped in starts anew today.

Today is the day that you will tell that person that you’ve admired from afar that you have feelings for them.  Today, you will engage that special person in a conversation and cast nervous tendencies to the winds. Today, will be the day that you stand up for yourself against the tyranny of a supervisor who generally shows a disregard for your hard-work and determination. Today, you will promote yourself as a leader in what you do. Today, you will confront the source of your fears, and boldly strangle your metaphorical enemy with resolve. Today, you will go out into the world and find a friend. Today, you will come out of the closet, regardless of what others might say about you. Today, you will make a much delayed apology, in spite of your level of pride. Today, you will seek out an answer to a question that haunts you. Today, you will invest in something that you know is worth it. Today, you will make your voice heard. Today, you will love yourself for who you are. Today, you will change the way you look at everything, including something as depressing, and ominous as Valentine’s Day.

-Jake

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One response

  1. Roxanne

    well Jake, I decided to take your advice and told the guy I’ve had a crush on for some time now that I like him. Not surprised when he shot me down; I was kind of expecting it, especially after I found out he’s already taken. I’d liked him for quite some time and was debating whether I should tell him or not. Things between us had been kind of off for a long time; he stopped talking to me for a while, and would only occasionally answer my texts and never answered one of my emails.

    I’m used to getting reactions like his; he wasn’t the first, but a part of me did wish that he could be the last. Now comes the question of what would’ve happened if I had told him before. My friends had warned me about it; they would tell me “Don’t think about it. You’ll just be wondering about the ‘What if?’s later on, so just go for it.” I’ve always been afraid of telling guys that I like them because I always get the same answers: “I just like you as a friend,” “I already like another girl,” “You’re not pretty enough for me,” you get the idea. Now part of me wonders if the same thing really would’ve happened if I had told this guy how I felt before.

    Do I feel bad about all of this? Part of me does, but another part of me couldn’t care less. Like you once said, it isn’t worth me risking my patience and sanity all in the pursuit of a romantic partner. I already have my friends and family that love me, and I’m fairly happy with most aspects of my life (well, as happy as a studious and hardworking college girl can be). It’s just that one department that has me disappointed, but majority rules dictate that I’m pretty content with my life at the moment.

    I said to myself, “This isn’t the first Valentine’s Day I’ve spent without a boyfriend, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” The right guy will come eventually (though he is taking his sweet time to get here).

    March 8, 2012 at 10:38 AM

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