The following is something I’ve written about internet trolling, and the joys one experiences while doing so. I call this poem “verbal abuse”, and I hope it will at least muster a grin on your face.
You instantly spring into action
upon my sharp moral infraction.
The words so callous, yet absolute
have turned you now into a mute.
With stumbling tongue, and failing thought
your mood has now become distraught.
You seek a witty counterstatement;
your punishment must have abatement.
You insult with dull profanity;
it’s a grammatical calamity.
You try the worthless “no-life” card;
the last-ditch effort taunt graveyard.
My face then dives into my palm,
while you attempt to remain calm.
With flustered face, you’re bellicose;
a detail pointless to disclose.
You’re being raped now publicly,
a spectacle for all to see.
So please, don’t feign a victory;
you’re just a new victim to me.
You’ll turn away in abhorrent silence,
regretting not just using violence.
The walk from my presence, painstakingly slow
I call your name and say, “Hey wait! Don’t go!”
With a smirk on my face I’ve become your new master
your only thought now is “why didn’t I leave faster”?
As you rejoin your friends you begin to relax,
during the lull in time following my attacks.
“You see that bitch there?”, you’ll say as you point my direction.
They’ll reply “Yeah, that guy with the shady complexion”.
You’ll begin, “he just tried to start shit in chat
but don’t worry…I just took care of that!”
Your friends will stare in utter confusion
as you feed them your deceptive delusion.
However, the tale will just not do
as you let them know I got to you.
“But yeah, his argument was lame.
All of his jokes sounded the same!
That dude was such a fucking fag
and all he ever did was nag
about my grammar and what I said,
if he had fought me he’d be dead”.
One friend will look at you and ask,
as you hold tight your confident mask…
“So who was that dude who gave you trouble?”
You’ll mutter from inside your rage-filled bubble:
“I dunno. Some asshole from The Sic…I think”
He’ll say “Oh yeah! His name is Link”!
I had WAY too much fun writing this. This is dedicated to my gaming community.