The Lesser Faith
Well children, it has been a long time coming. I’d like to state, that before I begin this wonderful parade of logical analogies and questions of reasonable context, that this will not be hostile at all. Many people have come to associate my work as being synonymous with wildfires sparked by the direct carelessness of others to come with a supported argument. I inherently promise that from this point forth not a single word of malicious nature shall be uttered from my mouth. And with that I present Jake Sanders’
“Oath To Order: Religion- A Brief Summary of Lunacy”.
Fucking religion. A concept that has justified so many irrational actions for eons and single-handedly provided the backbone of many modern philosophies that just don’t add up. Whether it be fear of the unknown, the idea that you’re being constantly tested by a sentient being, or just the general negligence of the masses to accept that the comfort that faith can bring also comes at a high price for many people. In 2007, a study was conducted by the Institute for behavioral studies in Berkley California, in which they issued a poll to over 10 million Americans. What they found out, was that 61% of Americans answered that, “Religion solves all, or many of my problems in life”. The sad, terrible truth is that it doesn’t. You can’t pray away warfare over avarice, nor can your blessings control the damage that humans do to our ecosystem every single day. Faith cannot prevent political figures from destroying our connection and cooperation with the rest of the world, and you can’t pray to cure a terminal illness that steals away the lives of innocent human beings yearly by the millions. But perhaps to gain a better understanding of religions as they are, we must start from the freshest example of it and work our way backwards.
The two religions that spring to mind when I think “Completely out of their fucking minds”, are undoubtedly the two that have the most visible flaws and fallacies of reason. Scientology and Mormonism. Nothing is so easy to pick apart as these two religions, as they have fundamental fuck-ups all over. Perhaps part of the reason no one takes them seriously, is partially because of how new they are. Both of these religions have been established in the past 200 years, with the newest being Scientology, with only 60 years of being recognized. So, let’s start there. Scientology, which I can’t believe even made it off the ground floor was created by L. Ron Hubbard in 1952. First off, any person who writes under the influence of PCP should never be considered a prophet or influential figure in terms of faith-based organizations, as they’re probably more delusional than the people who choose to follow them. Hubbard wrote the majority of his dianetics teachings and the popular science fiction novel “Battlefield: Earth” under the influence of such drugs. Also, seeing as how Scientology is such a failed faith anyways, I guess an easy way to wrap this up is to conclude with his own philosophy. While attempting to sell his unrecognized novel, a teacher and Hubbard were conversing while heavily involved in the recreational drug ring and they came to the conclusion that the most highly marketed books were those of religious text. Hubbard than began taking to the streets with his book, proclaiming that people who were tired of the constraints and mysticism behind Judeo-christian religions were “shunned” in his book and that people should purchase his book in order to enlighten themselves to the origins of the universe and the ‘big question’ as he called it to where life on Earth came from. (York’s dissertation, 1997)
Any person who fails at selling a Sci-Fi novel, and turns to selling certainty instead is teetering on either being a marketing genius, or fucking insane in my book. Next, the origins of his “knowledge” are ridiculously easy to speculate on. For the origins of the Earth, Hubbard says that over 80 Trillion years ago, a leader of the Galactic Confederacy known only as Xenu took the earliest forms of human life and stuck them under the surface of the earth, namely the sites of such major volcanic activity as we’ve come to know today. He then blew these up with an environmental destabilization unit comparable to the hydrogen bomb. I know, I know. This shit sounds as if George Lucas got his hands on it and skull-fucked it with epic twists in the plot. But that’s just for starters. Also, with Scientology you must come to understand Hubbard’s other philosophies. By his teachings, there are evil spirits within all of us called “Thetans”. These Thetans can only be spotted by the use of a machine popularized and coined by a chiropractor called an “E-meter”. An ‘Electropsychometer’ is used to determine the amount of Thetans inside your body and to what degree you are possessed by them. The only way to rid yourself of Thetans is a process called “auditing”. This process is a two person system of question and answer designed to extract painful memories and other immoral actions known as “engrams”. What I find ironic about all of this is that these ideals were published in a book called “Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health”. A hilarious title when you come to realize how fucked in the head L. Ron Hubbard was and the ideology he came to sell to others and perhaps even believe himself.
The next in line is Mormonism, a belief system established in the 1800’s under the watchful eye of the self-proclaimed prophet Joseph Smith. This belief system, looks from afar like an offshoot of Buddhism. The dietary needs, the fundamentally cheerful dispositions, the love for many forms of life no matter how insignificant. This is all a failed cover for the below the surface racism, and animosity felt because of the Latter Day Saint’s persecution. There’s too many flaws in this religion and its sacred texts. According to Joseph Smith himself, he had several audiences with Jesus Christ, God, and Abraham. During these meetings he was supposedly meant to carry their will to the people as their prophet, and people simply believed him through his words. Never was there a failure grand enough to compare to the failure of others to question the validity of an individual’s claims. Perhaps the people who read the Book of Mormon should examine closer the lines within their book. Not only is there an underlying current of racism amidst the amount of unfulfilling lines of monotonous fiction based around false prophecy and falsification of witnessing extraordinary events, but there is also an immense amount of “out of character” quotes from certain figures who are archetypically the same through and through. In the book of Mormon, Joseph Smith quotes Jesus Christ of saying that “All other faiths are an abomination in my sight”. That quote is without a doubt one of the last things anyone on the fucking planet could ever picture the Jesus of Nazareth saying, even if he was in a really terrible mood. It just doesn’t make any sense, and anyone who understands Jesus as the mild-mannered, loving and accepting figure that he was knows this is nothing less than absolute bullshit. A terrible ploy at turning this figure into something that fits into the profile of what they were looking to create; Unquestioning faith for their own group, by shaping someone recognized by all into what they deemed appropriate. Another strange, and obviously falsified “truth” by the Mormon faith is that dark skin is a curse from god, and only through selfless actions and purity of life can one become of light skin. I shouldn’t even have to speculate over how absurd this is. It reeks of post-colonial racism of the highest caliber, this time dragging religion into the debate, therein making it what they believe to be absolute. What better way to justify a hatred towards the differences of others than to call it “the will of the divine”? People have been using that excuse forever, and who’s to argue what the will of “god” is? One of the last ridiculous actions practiced by the Mormon church, which I still can’t fathom why anyone would commit to such a ridiculous ritual, is the baptism for the dead. Yes, you read that right. The mormon church is more than willing to baptise corpses in an attempt to save them. I know, it’s as idiotic as it sounds and the list of candidates who have qualified for this boggle my god damn mind. The following people have been baptised after death by the Mormons.
1. Adolf Hitler
2. Anne Frank
3. Albert Einstein
4. Heinrich Himmler
6. Ann Dunham (Obama’s mother)
7. Joan of Arc
This list is just as ridiculous as a few other things about the church of Mormon, but due to this being merely a summary and not my full take and study over the Mormon religion I will suffice to tell you that there are many other things horribly wrong about this faith. From the special undergarments that are meant to keep out evil, to the selfish fact that they ACTUALLY believe the garden of Eden was located in Missouri, to the near pathetic belief that the American Indian tribes are a lost Jewish culture when there is a 0.00 ratio of Jewish genetics in the test conducted by A. Jamie Cuticchia over genetic informatics.
All of these are just prime examples of substantial proof that there is no valid claims to these faiths, and the false prophets who have attempted to gain support for their sect, for lack of a better word, conjured a wonderful book full of lies and deceptive misinformation constructed for one purpose. To offer a false sense of hope and understanding to a weak-minded group of people who were only moderately religious in their previous faiths and found more comfort in this uncharted territory of “enlightenment”. Also, it stands to reason that the persecution of the Latter Day Saints drove many of them to support the underdog in this case, being Joseph Smith’s militia and merely came to see his side of the story out of a general pity and adoration of Smith himself. Hell, even the majority of L. Ron Hubbard’s followers were weak antisocial beings who were characterized in their schools to be dissociative, or outcasts from their own circles and studies. I give both Hubbard and Smith credit though. The balls it takes, the sheer nerve it takes to be able to stand in front of a huge group of people and inform them of the things I’ve chronicled here…You have to be one brave mother fucker to be able to tell someone else that with out laughing your ass off, or without THEM dying in a fit of hysterical laughter.
Yes, suddenly the both of these faiths just look a little more like fiction now, don’t they? It’s because as much as people don’t want to believe it, they are fabricated. I am inclined to believe in the right of ALL people to have freedom of religion, speech, and any other outlet they want. Unfortunately I’m not obligated to believe on any level that the irrationalities of religious groups are in any sense a reality. “But Jake! Why are you picking on religion? I like you all the way up until you start picking on religious people because of their faith! Why can’t you just leave them alone? I mean, their faith brings them comfort! It’s not as if it’s hurting anyone”! That, has to be my favorite whiner’s speech. To tell someone that religion hasn’t, or isn’t harming anyone has got to be the most cruel practical joke to ever perform on another human. But maybe people are right, maybe I worry too much about the little things that religion as a whole has done. Such insignificant things like The Crusades, The Inquisition, Jihad, ethnic cleansing, the justification of slavery, Witch Hunts, Honor rape, Honor/Mercy killings, Mass suicide cults, Human sacrifice, and the systematic fucking of children. Yeah, people have got to be right. I must be obsessing over the wrong fucking things here.
Surely though, it’s only the two religions I’ve mentioned above that are this insane, this ludicrous to contain such fictional material. I mean, people are always so easily amused when I say “Xenu”, or “The Mormons”, because they know the placement of such bogus ideals. Damn those people have gotta be fuckin crazy to think that. There’s a lot of people who are right there in my face, always telling me how “right” I am, and how much they agree with me. “Yeah, those fucking Scientologists are crazy”. But Jesus, with the virgin birth, and the talking snake, and the walking on water. Well fuck me, that story makes so much sense. How could something that legitimate sounding be fake? Why is it that people who disregard the more absurd beliefs, are still blind to the horrifically obvious lies they still generally accept? The best kept lies are the ones that everyone else but you believes in. Who is left to argue if everyone else sees a pink elephant in the corner of the room? You must clearly be the insane person, right? Wrong. Just because something is believed by the mass majority, does not qualify it to be correct. Without an overwhelming amount of supported evidence, something just doesn’t appear real, nor should it. I’m all for a general organization in the universe. I just fail to see how believing in a man-made, imaged, personalized, and conformed deity gets anyone anywhere. People take the image they are given on texts written BY man. They then shape them, and transcribe them in order to fit the common era they are in. Whether it be Tribal, social, or new-age, or merciful the image of a deity has always been a welcome sight to people and they don’t question it because of a clerical rule, or a fear of being persecuted for their inquiries. If one can find reason to believe something without ever seeing it, hearing from it, or having indication as to its validity without questioning it, I’d love to hear about it.
This oath to order will be quite possibly my longest, and unfortunately I can’t cover all of my material and studies over this in merely one post. It must be slowly put into place, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be finished with my studies. From this point forth, I will cover the fundamental flaws of religion individually, by answering the questions or comments of others as well as I can, and then providing a new section regarding one of our primary religions practicing today. I’ll keep the hostility in my responses to a minimum, as I know a majority of my friends have a sense of faith and I respect that to the finest degree. But unfortunately I will not refrain from a little sarcastic humor regarding it in my studies and conclusions themself, as they are my topics and my discretionary level is very low on those. I literally try to offend with many of my O.T.Os and I try to keep the blood pumping!
(I smell the hate-mail coming)
(For the record, My “Oath to Order” is a long-standing line of posts written on my gaming clan forums for over 3 years before my blog came about. I will continue the series here in tradition with my others.)