Yeah, I know what you’re all so excited about! Charlie Sheen’s fuckin tour of idiocy is over!!
I’m kidding, of course. (Not really, it IS over.)
YES! Osama Bin Laden finally stopped to use the bathroom and visit family, and got riddled by a metal storm. Apparently, somewhere in rural Pakistan he and a large concentration of his immediate family were in a compound that they believed to be safe. From what sources say though, the agency known as the Joint Special Operations Command, also known as “JSOC” received multiple tips that Bin Laden had been taking refuge in various parts of Pakistan, and thanks to their patience in the field of intelligence and careful observation, they were able to triangulate on his position and take him out when the opportunity arose. I think this is a tremendous victory for the United States, as well as many others who have wanted this mother fucker dead since the early 90’s where we trained him to become the monster he formerly was known as.
No topic shall escape my page unscathed. The first observation any sensible person should make, of course regards his “burial”. It was said that because of the gravity of the situation, there was no sensible way to dispose of his body upon any land surface because he is the leader of a group of religious fanatics. The ground his corpse was disposed in, would instantly be considered holy and it would become a shrine for any idiot who ever loved him to go and worship. So they decided to send his body overboard in the middle of the ocean; this was done without clear definition of the coordinates, as to discourage any people from seeking the location and deeming it a coagulation point for militants.
As pretty as a story as that is, I’m going to have to pry just a little bit. I’m a gamer, and whenever someone accomplishes something that other people have found difficult to do themselves, or near impossible, the rule of that is “Screenshot or it never happened”. This policy should be considered the brick wall for most unsupported ideas or claims. Seeing as how many people are already as cynical as I am concerning the death of such an infamous individual, it comes to no surprise that we would want to see some sort of photographic evidence of his gruesome demise. Fuck respect for the dead. Cast to the winds any caution upon showing his mutilated remains. There should be no question in people’s minds that this distasteful creature has been wiped off the face of the Earth. Whether he was the direct catalyst of 9/11 or not is irrelevant at this point. He was a religious fanatic, who took the morality and values of an ancient sacred texts and manipulated it to suit his cause in the same manner thousands of others have done across the globe. The difference was his innate ability, to swiftly transform many naive people into husks of individuals ready to kill in the name of a falsified Islam. One that deems it alright to murder at will, in the hopes of becoming a “martyr” in some sort of afterlife. He was one of the more notable “bad guys” this planet has seen, and I won’t be shedding tears for the avaricious leech.
One could see how the mysterious details surrounding why he was disposed of so quickly could be considered not only suspicious, but possibly staged. I’d like to think that our government wouldn’t lie to us. I’d love to believe that people aren’t misleading pricks that abuse a term such as “classified” so often that it loses all sense of its definition.
…but I’m not an idiot. I ask questions, and expect answers with a backbone until I am satisfied or my metaphorical inquiry well runs dry.
But, enough of that. I could ask “what if” forever, and I do it on my own time. Many people now have jumped to the conclusion that now that Bin Laden is dead, we’re going to happily marching out of the middle east waving a big flag. Nothing could be further from the truth. Adolf Hitler died in 1945, and to this day we still have over 50,000 troops stationed in Germany. The middle east is far from being torn apart, and we’re not getting any closer to the end of this campaign. Osama’s death doesn’t mean we’re lacking a reason to stay in the middle east. It just makes one more reason NOT to be involved there. There’s always Libya, in which a dictator is still in power. However that is supposedly not our problem anymore, as the issue has been handed off to NATO. How long that will stick is anyone’s guess though, as our country has practically deemed it a necessary action to get involved in any nation’s problems that potentially might contain natural resources. No, we’re not done yet. Until we’ve absolutely commandeered the oil refineries, attempted a “democratic” establishment in every middle eastern city, stuck a shopping mall on the Gaza fucking strip, and made a national football league for Iraq, we’ll never be happy with the middle east. It’s an arid, bone dry region that will soon be the home of the world’s largest solar power panel farm for miles and miles. We don’t want them to join the 21st century in terms of technology. We just want them to buy our shit, let us use their land, and give us control over everything that is located below sea level.
On a lighter note though, I’ll conclude by saying that now that Osama Bin Laden is a corpse, he’s well on his way to finding out that all of the grand fantasies he pumped into young Muslims for years to get them to commit suicide is a gigantic flaming joke.
Rest in pieces Osama, you false prophet twat. If you thought you were laughed about in life, just think of what image we have of you with a quarter-inch hole in your skull.