Often it has been concluded by the multiple circles of social groups I have frequented that I am not of the same shades of black and white as they are.
For some reason, it has been deemed necessary that I must concede my dignity to a certain level to be able to fit in at an appropriate level. I find this to not only be an exercise in futility; this is a direct act of group-think suicide. That is why when I contradict something somebody says, or provide them with the counter argument, it confuses me as to why I receive such a shocked and exasperated expression. It’s logical to believe that to an extent they may be wondering why it is that I will disregard their position in favor of my own; it’s not logical to have to wonder why the fuck they are now angry beyond reason, and why it is they are refusing to talk to me anymore when I clearly outlined my point with as much respect as possible.
This is not so uncommon. Unfortunately, because I have more of a metaphorical wall around my worldview, my points come across in a negative light. For quite some time, people have come to assume that because I press my views in a more headstrong fashion, it means that I assume my beliefs are factually based and close-minded. Once again, another band-wagon trend that seems to have caught on because of the rumor-mill fashion of information. Not only does this make it to where people don’t want to debate me in any open forum; the pseudo image produced for me as open-minded completely gets destroyed. I never receive the chance to “agree to disagree”, because by this point it has already been labeled that I’m not going to accept what they say and it’s either a “personal issue” now, or “I assume I’m correct”. Nothing could be further from the truth, and there’s nothing more insulting to my intelligence that having people driven from my sight because of someone else’s personal experiences in an argument with me. It just seems like I’ve been wronged when someone takes it on faith that not only are they going to “lose” an argument with me, they’re not even going to be able to express their point, let alone have it heard in the first place.
It also seems that lately people have begun to assume that because my political views vary as wide as they are, that the most logical thing to do would be to stick a disgusting partisan title upon it so they can feel more at ease with my ideology, as if it all fell in line so gracefully and stereotypically. It’s impossible for me to sway any such direction based on a major political party. You can’t afford to do that anymore. It’s dangerous to align oneself with republicans or democrats, especially since the husk of the party you believe they are is a contradictory, “smile pasted”, atrociously funded gimmick group designed to manipulate the youth of our nation into joining up as if it were an open club that entitles all of its members to some form of salvation and elite status. Sadly enough, this isn’t true. I’ve almost religiously researched liberal and conservative viewpoints on all subjects, and more often than not the conservatives just come out looking like a group of tools. The liberals tend to lean into the image of a whiny hypersensitive woman though. There are virtually no good reasons to side on all issues with a political party other than the fact that everything you say will be backed up by multiple people if you side with them. It’s also a real good way to receive a stamp of approval on your thought patterns, and be heavily criticized if you so much as even glance the opposite direction.
I don’t WISH my country was a ridiculous haven for the self-affirmation fueled narcissists…but it is.
It’s not as if I’m surprised by the surge of shock that seems to follow me like footprints in the sand. It’s just the rate of which people seem to realize that just because I’ve once shared your airspace doesn’t automatically qualify us to be “cut from the same cloth”. It doesn’t mean that we think alike, nor does it mean that I’m going to back your cause because you feel passionately about it. I would turn family members down for things, so I don’t know what sort of perks you believe you’re entitled to. My admiration, respect, and gratitude can only be merited through countless examples of loyalty and trust. Even then, you won’t always receive my support in all issues. I call people when they are incorrect, and I expect them to do the same for me. To not do so, would be a dishonorable act of treason to that person and their art of higher thinking. I would be an enabler, and that is never a healthy thing to be.
Even my religious standpoint, seems to be the last untapped minority. Atheism, is frowned upon by quite a large group of people, and godlessness seems to be dirty by today’s standards, although I daresay it’s getting better. Although, I’m sure people close to me would say I’m not an atheist; a more accurate title of honor for me that I’ve come to embrace is the “Anti-theist”. It fits appropriately, and I have grown rather fond of it. However, people seem to think that because I attempt to discredit the existence of an omnipotent being, this instantly means I assume I’m correct and there is no feasibly possible way I could ever be wrong because of my infallible reason. Wrong again. The fucking arrogant standpoint of marketing certainty is what religious people try to sell, not me. I’m in the business of trying to bring doubt back to people, and so far it has been an uphill battle. I don’t know what the fuck happens when you die, and neither does anyone else. If someone attempts to tell you that they know; no matter what conviction they have when they tell you this wonderful tale, I can assure you they don’t. They’re just as blind as the rest of us, and their mortality is just as painfully evident as yours.
I’m probably dangerous for your children, I know. Don’t worry though, one of these days someone will tell you something and you’ll ask the most hazardous question to anyone’s point of view, or argument.