Never say this to me.
Hello, fellow member of the church of scientology.
We’re contacting you today on behalf of our associates who have informed us that you may be interested in a free 14-day trial of “World Of Warcraft: Jesus died for your sins- expansion pack”! We think you’ll love what this brand new magical journey that the world of warcraft has to offer! Not only do you explore the ancient lore of our lord and savior, you’ll be transported back into a fantastic time period, back when slavery was considered a humanitarian practice, and when an imperialist oligarchy was not only necessary, it was fun for the whole family! Feel free to try out the two brand new classes added into the expansion, including the dreadfully powerful “Jewish silver-sucker, with the powerful ability to beg twice as fast as any normal player in game for silver or gold! Also, try out the “Virgin mother” class and use the special power of uncontrollable crying while others beat the living shit out of your party! You’ll be deemed innocent, and useless at the same time!
If you refer a friend today, you’ll receive the bonus class for a limited time…the brand new “Forgotten Mediterranean Deity”! Travel through the world of Jesus-land, but have no powers! As the F.M.D class, you’ll have a special buff to remind other players in a non-chalant, and bland fashion that before Judeo-Christian gods came around, you were once worshipped! However, you’re stuck in a permanent stealth state, and everytime you speak, you’ll cause another player to break into a hilarious fit of laughter at your entire existence, even though their faith is just as idiotic and pointless.
For those of you who buy the collector’s edition “World of Warcraft: Jesus died for your sins- expansion pack”, you’ll also receive the limited edition soundtrack to the game including such great tracks, recorded by highly revered musical artists such as the hit single “She said she was level 18” by R. Kelly! You can also get a glimpse of the brand new track “My other mount is probably your mother” by Lil’ Wayne! And who could forget that timeless classic by Ozzy Osbourne, “You FACKIN nerds are gonna die virgins”!
Don’t forget, this entire package can be yours for the low price of $129.99 plus shipping and handling! If you’re a current user of “Neo-Nazi-Dating.com”, you are also eligible for a limited time offer of 10% off of your purchase! Just go to the payment options page for WoW:JDFYS, and under “redeem code” put our special promo code in the blank. For those of you who are eligible, please enter this code in the blank! “Deadjewsarethebestkind”
THANK YOU loyal member of the Church of Scientology, and remember to be in services on sunday for the special presentation of;
“Tom cruise presents: My penis, your Xenu”.
Alien blessings upon thee.
I think that’s a fair thing to not want.