(Insert vague title here)
Well, I could take this time to throw an absolute tantrum at the fact I gave a fairly decent performance at an audition, and then was overshadowed by the fact that the guy right behind me was the zombie Frank Sinatra come to haunt me. I could cry about the fact there were probably 60 girls at this audition; perhaps even the horrible truth that they all sounded as if they had professional training from the Sirens from the Odyssey themselves. I could complain that they all took this incredibly seriously, no matter what the job was for, because they want to be over-qualified for the position beyond all reasonable doubt. But, I’m not going to. Nope, that would be childish and immature.
No, I won’t do that because I have a much more important topic to cover. I recently came in contact with a group of people that I was collecting information from, for research purposes. I strictly had professional interest in them, mainly because it wouldn’t be possible for me to have social interest in them. Frankly, I’ve found lego-men in my toychest that are more round characters than these children. You see when I take the time to ask people what their interests are, the last thing I ever want to hear is a vague, bland, horrifically worded phrase such as “I like to have fun”. WHAT IS THAT? Let’s say it again together.
“I like to have fun”.
It’s as if you just talked to a “Chatty Cathy” doll, and it gave you “ONE OF THREE AWESOME SAYINGS”! I honestly thought that phrase merely floated around places like dating sites, where that vagary of perception spawns everywhere. Of course, I simply nodded my head and took notes. I dare not try and rattle their cage by asking a difficult question, such as “What type of activity would be considered fun”? I’d be replacing their batteries by the time they mustered the courage to provide me with a decent answer. Speaking of terribly vague answers like that though, I think I will cover another one while I am here. When you ask someone their musical preference, and they provide you with that stupidly conjured copout answer of “I listen to everything”, Call their damn bluff.
Me: So Bob, what kind of music do you like?
Bob: I listen to everything, Jake!
Me: No kidding? You’ve got to be one of the first fans of “Acid lounge” I’ve met! And how about that “Noise-Jazz”? Hear any good “Russian folk music” lately? Oh by the way, what’s your opinion on the newest string of “Gregorian Psycho-chants”? Oh, you’ve probably heard it all Bobby. You’re a man of the world.
Bob: …I have to go water my dog now. Bye Jake.
Yeah, they’ll think twice before they ever tell you that they “love to laugh”, and “prefer to breathe air” again. Ahhh, I feel MUCH better now. Oh, and Erika- tease me again about attempting to sing Christmas Carols and I will take a whiffle bat to ye!
-Jake ( that guy that loves to think)